The memorial of St. Claude de la Columbiere
When I was in high school, I desired to be like most normal students who had everything they ever wanted to make high school life study-centred and enjoyable. Most of the students had enough money to always buy moi-moi, biscuits, or akara for mid-class break and lunch. Most of the students had the required biology, physics, chemistry, further mathematics, and English textbooks. Most of these students had everything required to make their high school life relaxed and hassle-free. I, on the other hand, could only desire to have textbooks in order to participate in class discussions and be able to pass my courses. I could only desire to see myself as I see these students because I felt dissatisfied with who I was and what I had, and, of course, they became the basis for my comparison.
My desire to be like most normal students prompted me to get my hands on money belonging to my guardian because I wanted to buy textbooks for my major subjects. I know the Kantians shall condemn the act of snatching because no justification makes it right; they are right because it is wrong to snatch what does not belong to you. In fact, it is a decision I still feel remorseful about as I look back today because I realised that desire can kill us all. Can desire actually kill us? Where does desire come from – God or myself? Is desire something we should not hope for, because it is bad in itself? What can desire do to us? My brothers, I invite you to reflect with me on how desire can kill us all.
The word desire appears in the first reading of today two times – in the fourteenth and in the fifteenth verses of the letter of Saint James. In the fourteenth verse, St. James says “Let no one say when he is tempted, ‘I am tempted by God’, for God cannot be tempted with evil and he himself tempts no one; but each person is tempted when he or (she) is lured and enticed by his own desire” and in the fifteenth verse, St. James says “then desire when it has conceived gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full-grown, brings forth death” (James 1:14 & 15). What stands out in both verses is St. James’ perspective on how God does not tempt us through our desire but we are tempted (lured and enticed) by our own desire (James 1:15). This makes sense, on the one hand, because it would mean that we are independent of our desire since God does not alter or tamper with our desires. And, on the other hand, because “every good and perfect gift” comes from “above”; perhaps implies that what is bad or evil comes from man (James 1:17).
St. James’ perspective on the independence of our desires (without God’s alteration) and the evil that proceeds from those desires call us to listen, examine, discern, and respond to what God is actually inviting us to. St. James is not the only one who invites us to an examen of our desire. St. Ignatius, whom we follow to serve under the banner of the cross, does. In fact, a key theme in the Spiritual Exercises is discernment. St. Ignatius tells us that we ought to be men and women of discernment. That is to say, we need to discern between good desires and bad desires – we need to understand the motions that stir within us. In other words, St. Ignatius, like St. James, acknowledges that our desires are capable of the worst evil without an examen of our desires and where they lead us to.
The invitation of St. James, and by extension St. Ignatius, from the first reading of today is quite relevant in our world of today that is becoming more desirous and less of examining where those desires lead us to. I am particularly concerned about the tension that is building between Ukraine and Russia. We could say that it does not concern us here in Africa because of territorial boundaries or the problems of others are not ours since we have our own problems. That could be true. But we could all be affected because what binds us together as human beings is desire, and it is this desire that can kill us all if we fail to have an examen of our desires. For us scholastics, St. James invites us here-and-now to acquire the necessary sensitivity to where most of our desires lead us to. Is it to God or to ourselves? More than ever, it is an invitation to always have an examen of our desires to live above the means of our commitment to poverty.
The formula of our Institute tells us that we are to be content with only the use of necessary things if they are permitted. Why then should we allow our desire to kill us before we realise our commitment to the vow of poverty? More than ever, St. James invites us to always have an examen of our desire to use community resources. The community car is a necessary thing if it is permitted, as the formula of the institute puts it, for the mission for which the community exists. Why should we make it an end in itself such that if it is not there the mission is thwarted? Now more than ever, St. James invites us to an examen of how our desires can kill us all.
The saint we celebrate today, St. Claude de la Columbiere – a Jesuit as it were, understood that desire can lead us to God when he accompanied Saint Margaret Mary Alacoque to discover her deepest desires and God’s presence through her examen of desires (prayer). He was a spiritual director of St. Margaret Mary Alacoque. He preached what was most dear to him, the message of Christ’s love for humankind. Claude la Columbiere, through his examen of desires, felt moved to take a special private vow to obey all the rules of the Society of Jesus in the most strict manner possible. I think he is a man who understands that desire can lead us to God and it can kill us all. He championed the devotion to the Sacred Heart of Jesus along with St. Margaret Mary Alacoque. He died after enduring imprisonment on this day 1682.
My dear brothers, may I suggest four ways to enable us to reflect on our desires. The first is to recognize God’s presence in all things that are around and within us, because it is in God’s presence that we can listen, examine, and discern where our desires lead us to. The second is to be grateful for all the desires that stir within us because it is in gratitude that we can appreciate and discover which desire leads us from God and which leads us to God. The third is to pay attention to the desires that stir within us because some of the desires lead us from God. While we pay attention to these desires, let us ask ourselves, where is this particular desire leading us to? Is it leading us from God or to God? Will this desire hurt someone if we succumb to it? What consequences follow this desire? The fourth is to beg for God’s help and resolve with God’s grace to go ahead with the desire.
My dear brothers, St. James assures us that God has prepared a crown of life for those who love Him, those who endure the trial of desire, and those who are not deceived that we are the first fruits of His creatures (James 1:18). We have a message of hope from St. James because we are not fated by desire such that it becomes out of our control. Rather, we have the independence of our desires such that it is within our control. We are blessed, according to St. James, if we realise this power within us.
We pray for our desires – our deepest desires – that we may sacrifice some desires for the sake of a greater imminent good – that we may always look deeper in us for our deepest desires and where such desires are leading us to. May the Lord bless His words in our hearts both now and forever. Amen.
Reflection by Michael Akashi Ikpodon S.J